Once We Were Sisters: A Memoir

Posted on 27 June 2018 by Sheila Kohler

ONE OF PEOPLE MAGAZINE S BEST NEW BOOKS A searing and intimate memoir about love turned deadly The BBC An intimate illumination of sisterhood and loss People When Sheila Kohler was thirty seven, she received the heart stopping news that her sister Maxine, only two years older, was killed when her husband drove them off a deserted road in Johannesburg Stunned by the news, she immediately flew back to the country where she was born, determined to find answers and forced to reckon with his history of violence and the lingering effects of their most unusual childhood one marked by death and the misguided love of their mother In her signature spare and incisive prose, Sheila Kohler recounts the lives she and her sister led Flashing back to their storybook childhood at the family estate, Crossways, Kohler tells of the death of her father when she and Maxine were girls, which led to the family abandoning their house and the girls being raised by their mother, at turns distant and suffocating We follow them to the cloistered Anglican boarding school where they first learn of separation and later their studies in Rome and Paris where they plan grand lives for themselves lives that are interrupted when both marry young and discover they have made poor choices Kohler evokes the bond between sisters and shows how that bond changes but never breaks, even after death A beautiful and disturbing memoir of a beloved sister who died at the age of thirty nine in circumstances that strongly suggest murder Highly recommended Joyce Carol Oates Read Once We Were Sisters: A Memoir author Sheila Kohler – kino-fada.fr 5 tender, naive, upsetting stars 6th Favorite Read of 2017 tie First of all my deepest condolences to Ms Kohler on her loss and the suffering of her dear beloved sister I hope this memoir helped with the grief, pain and anger of a most unfortunate and unfair death I found this book terribly beautiful, terribly strange and savagely unfortunate Ms Kohler shifts through time and writes a tribute to her sweet sister who was physically and emotionally abused and ultimately killed by her 5 tender, naive, upsetting stars 6th Favorite Read of 2017 tie First of all my deepest condolences to Ms Kohler on her loss and the suffering of her dear beloved sister I hope this memoir helped with the grief, pain and anger of a most unfortunate and unfair death I found this book terribly beautiful, terribly strange and savagely unfortunate Ms Kohler shifts through time and writes a tribute to her sweet sister who was physically and emotionally abused and ultimately killed by her husband in South Africa leaving six children behind The sisters relationship is very close growing up and intermittent but loving as they grow older and live in different continents Their upbringing though financially privileged is fraught with neglect...A painful yet loving memoir written by South African writer Sheila Kohler about the loss of her beloved older sister Sheila and her sister Maxine werethan just sisters, they were best friends and both had survived a strange but privileged childhood Their narcissistic mother was emotionally unavailable and their father was largely absent so they just had each other Both sisters were beautiful and bright but were brought up to marry young, preferably to a wealthy man, and have lots of ba A painful yet loving memoir written by South African writer Sheila Kohler...Once We Were Sisters is a memoir biography written by Sheila Kohler about her relationship with her sister as well as her sister s tragic death via car accident alleged murder Ms Kohler discusses the culture, social norms, and gender race dynamics in her home country of South Africa While these elements were interesting to explore on their own, watching the domino effect of how these factors play into family and relationship dynamics was equally insightful Ms Kohler shared that she has much Once We Were Sisters is a memoir biography written by Sheila Kohler about her relationship with her sister as well as her sister s tragic death via car accident alleged murder Ms Kohler discusses the culture, social norms, and gender race dynamics in her home country of South Africa While these elements were interesting to explore on their own, watching the domino effect of how these factors play into family and relationship dynamics was equally insightful Ms Kohler shared that she has much grief, suspicion, and regret over her sister s domestic abuse victimization and eventual death Her main coping mechanism to date has been writingThe only weapon left to me is to write about what has happened in fictional form None of the family want the story told Not his family, natu...Late last year, I joined My Book Box, a subscription box service that send you two books each month along with a couple other things book marks, tea, soap, butterbeer candle, a poster I signed up for the Mystery and Non Fiction selections The mystery selections have been good Not outstanding, but not bad The Non Fiction selection have been outstanding With the exception of two books, the non fiction books have been books that I would not have otherwise picked up One exception is that I Late last year, I joined My Book Box, a subscription box service that send you two books each month along with a couple other things book marks, tea, soap, butterbeer candle, a poster I ...It began very promisingly I could feel how much author Sheila Kohler loved her sister Kohler did a wonderful job right up front, too, setting out the strangeness of her childhood as the backdrop for her memoir Soon the story derailed The memoir lacks, to me, a coherent thematic point of view anything that might have given the story a spine While the memoir promises to be a story of two sisters, it instead roams freely from chapter to chapter, touching upon many other autobiographical subje It began very promisingly I could feel how much author Sheila Kohler loved her sister Kohler did a wonderful job right up front, too, setting out the strangeness of her childhood as the ba...I was looking forward to this memoir about Sheila and her sister, who was killed by her husband The story seems at first to be headed to a big climax the life of privileged in South Africa, the fancy trips, the hints in the background of what was really going on It is heartbreaking that even rich white people in the most privileged group living in South Africa can t prevent domestic abuse at such severe levels but, I might argue, since the author fails to, that it is the same patriarchal so I was looking forward to this memoir about Sheila and her sister, who was killed by her husband The story seems at first to be headed to a big climax the life of privileged in South Africa, the fancy trips, the hints in the background of what was really going on It is heartbreaking that even rich white people in the most privileged group living in South Africa can t prevent domestic abuse at such severe levels bu...This was heart wrenching, a memoir about sisterhood, that bond that unites us to another human being, so that she becomes a whole part of you.Sheila and Maxine had very privileged lives in Johannesburg, in a big estate, with servants and a nanny Their father died when she and her sister were pretty young With a self centred mother and volture relatives, the girls had to figure out love and the world on their own.Sheila chose to leave South Africa, Maxine stayed there Even if the two girls wer This was heart wrenching, a memoir about sisterhood, that bond that unites us to another human being, so that she becomes a whole part of you.Sheila and Maxine had very privileged lives in Johannesburg, in a big estate, with servants and a nanny Their father died when she and her sister were pretty young With a self centred mother and volture relatives, the girls had to figure out love and the world on their own.Sheila chose to leave South Africa, Maxine stayed there Even if the two girls were financia...This is a hauntingly personal memoir written by a successful novelist who has mined this material over the course in her career Sheila Kohler and her sister, Maxine, had an extraordinarily privileged childhood growing up in South Africa Losing their father at an early age, they found their way themselves without much help from their self absorbed mother and selfish aunts So it is not surprising that lacking loving guidance, they both made questionable marriages Fortunate to be financially se This is a hauntingly personal memoir written by a successful novelist who has mined this material over the course in her career Sheila Kohler and her sister, Maxine, had an extraordinarily privileged childhood growing up in South Africa Losing their father at an early age, they found their way themselves without much help from their self absorbed mother and selfish aunts So it is not surprising that lackin...This is a memoir that is super short and for my reading seemed in 3 4ths of its copy so strangely detached that it could have been a police case report The detachment was so evident and the entire went into such time and separate connoted tangents that it fails as a cohesive book, IMHO Not as the title presupposes Others seem to feel differently Reading a few of the reviews right now after I attempted to finish this book I didn t it went on my abandoned shelf at about the 75% point It s This is a memoir that is super short and for my reading seemed in 3 4ths of its copy so strangely detached that it could have been a police case report The detachment was so evident and the entire went into such time and separate connoted tangents that it fails as a cohesive book, IMHO Not as the title presupposes Others seem to feel differently Reading a few of the reviews right now after I attempted to finish this book I didn t it went on my abandoned shelf at about the 75% point It s almost as we read different books Except for the c...I see myself from afar as in a film or a book, as I am to do so often in my life, a voice in my head, a secret sharer, recording my own existence, Kohler writes in this purportedly painful memoir that left me cold Part of the reason is this attitude she approaches the telling of the story of her sister s death from a distance, too, which I suspect is born from the attitude toward her life Which is a curious combination of lack of compassion and lack of analytic ability It is impressionisti I see myself from afar as in a film or a book, as I am to do so often in my life, a voice in my head, a secret sharer, recording my own existence, Kohler writes in this purportedly painful memoir that left me cold Part of the reason is this attitude she approaches the telling of the story of her sister s death f...

27 June 2018

Sheila Kohler